Apologies to the few people who actually read this blog. I’ve not posted anything in almost two weeks. It seems the only person who missed it was my wife, who has challenged me several times on why I’ve not been posting. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure. It’s not that I haven’t been continuing on with my devotionals or the 40 Days of Nothing fast. I guess I just lowered it on my priority list.
Life has been good lately. My last post was on the day of my most recent meeting with my Servants Quarters colleagues. We had a great meeting. I am glad to have these other people in my life. I hope that I can get to know them better (and perhaps communicate more frequently) as we sojourn on together. Our topic was Heaven. We discussed readings from John Yeats and Randy Alcorn on the Biblical picture of Heaven and what we might be able to anticipate about eternity. It was quite exciting.
The readings weren’t altogether new to me, but the implications still energize me. However, in the midst of all of this, I have been feeling a strong pull of skepticism. This is not unusual for people of faith. Without skepticism faith is not faith, is it? I have been struggling with whether or not my life really reflects that which I say I believe.
I know how to put on a good face and say the appropriate things at the right times. I am also convinced that the faith to which I hold has radically changed the lives of others. I can see where it has changed the trajectory of my life as well. Yet I still am going through a period where I feel empty inside. This is not like depression (I know that well), nor is it for a lack of evidence. I’m not quite sure I can explain its genesis. Nor do am I certain how to combat it.
As part of the fast, I’ve been reading nothing but the Bible. I’ve read through Colossians, 1 & 2 Peter, 1, 2, & 3 John, Jude, Job, Song of Songs, and now Isaiah. That is more Scripture in four weeks than I’ve read in a long, long time. My prayer life, however, hasn’t been very good. I guess that, spiritually, I’m in a funk. Which is a hard place to be when you’re trying to pour into the lives of others.
So I’m not really sure where that leaves me. Passion weeks begins in a few days, an appropriate time to think about all this stuff.